I have a very deliberate morning ritual. It’s taken time to refine, but now it’s something I truly rely on to feel grounded and capable of facing the day. It’s my anchor. When I stray from it—on vacations or during particularly hectic times—I feel an agitation begin to build within me, like a tightly wound spring ready to snap. My morning ritual is what keeps me steady, reminding me that even in chaos, I can return to a place of calm.
Here’s my ritual:
I make a latte, read a passage from a spiritual book, meditate on its meaning, and then journal. That’s it. Simple but deeply effective.
Today, I read a reflection from Alcoholics Anonymous about hitting rock bottom. It struck a chord because, though I’m not struggling with alcohol right now, I feel like I’ve hit an emotional rock bottom in my grief. Three unexpected deaths in three months. My soul feels shattered, and I can’t help but shake my head and wonder: What am I supposed to learn from this? How do I even begin to see beyond the sadness?
The passage reminds me of the early days of my sobriety, over twelve and a half years ago. Back then, I leaned into the steps, not because I was eager to heal but because I didn’t want to hurt like that anymore. Slowly, through showing up and doing the work, my attitudes and actions began to shift. I became more comfortable with myself and with life. Healing crept in, one day at a time.
So now, in this season of grief, I’m going to rely on those same principles. I’ll continue to show up, to work the steps, and to trust that even this emotional rock bottom is part of my journey. The practice that once brought me through the darkness of addiction will help me navigate the shadow of loss.
Here’s the reflection from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:
“Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand… One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.”
I’m grateful for my morning ritual. It’s a reminder that even when life feels insurmountable, I have tools to hold onto. I don’t need to know how to get to the other side of this grief just yet. I just need to keep showing up, one day at a time.
